So I ordered an FC Mobile II, which is essentially a portable NES, after having heard about it from a friend and reading up on it. I got it today.

At first it seemed like a pretty cool concept—being able to play NES games on the go, as well as being able to hook it up to a TV within 5 seconds (thanks to A/V connectivity). But as I gave this a shot, my opinion of it rapidly dwindled.

The screen’s 2.5″ across which is pretty small, especially for a system whose resolution is 256×224 (a bit larger than a single DS screen’s 256×192), but I could do with that. My main problem lies with the ergonomics. For one, the system is thick. I’ll excuse it somewhat since it needs that thickness to accomodate NES cartridges, but good God, five minutes of playing, say, Zanac has caused my hands (which are huge by the way; my right hand spans about 25-27cm from pinkie tip to thumb tip when spread out) to cramp. Even 7 hours after initial runs, my right hand still hurts.

Even without that issue, the D-pad feels cheap. For one, it’s a PlayStation-styled D-pad, and I greatly dislike those, preferring instead round Sega-style D-pads and Nintendo-style cross-shaped D-pads. Also, the D-pad piece is split in half diagonally. This has a habit of throwing me off, especially in games where there is plenty of action happening. On what little plus side it has, it allows me to press left and right at once to execute Zelda II‘s LINK DORIFUTO glitch.

As for game compatibility, it seems to work fine with most of my games, except Castlevania III (which already has issues with other NES clones anyway).

I thought the wired controllers would solve my problem and essentially turn the FCM2 into a battery-operated NES that I can hook up to a TV in 5 seconds. As wireless devices, they’re okay, just as long as neither of the IR ports are blocked. My main beef is, again, the D-pad. Whereas the D-pad on the FCM2 itself feels like a PSP-100x D-pad (poor manueverability), these are the inverse, feeling more like 360 D-pads: tendency to press the wrong direction. Great. I get not one, but two shitty input devices. It’s like deciding between burning to death or freezing to death.

The A/V cables are okay too. No annoying humming like on my NES, but I’ve noticed that The Legend Of Zelda, for instance, has jerky scrolling going up or down.

Overall, I kinda regret wasting $60 on this piece of crap, and I kinda want to punch my friends in the face for somehow not noticing these shortcomings. It’s similar to the disappointment I had with Ketsui Death Label (portable Bullet Hell game? Sounds good. Boss Game with odd scoring system? Eww.) I think I’ll stick to firing up the old NES if I wanna play my NES carts.