So this past week two of the three games I’ve ordered online have arrived: Mushihime-sama Futari Ver 1.5 and Thunder Force VI. (DJMAX Portable Clazziquai Edition appears to be nowhere in sight.)

Mushihime-sama Futari – TFB means “True Final Boss”
I’ve been whoring out Futari (known by casual players and non-players of Cave shooters as “that game with the really hard final boss”) whenever I can (in fact, last night, I was up at 4:30AM playing this game right before going to bed, because dammit, TFVI left a sour taste in my mouth).

I mainly use Palm-Abnormal. Reco-Normal is great for hitting all over the place, but feels a bit slow. I refuse to use Reco-Abnormal on the basis of her hold-down speed being faster than her normal speed, which goes against bullet hell tradition. Palm-Normal is okay I guess, but his (Dear character designers, please refrain from giving male characters breast tubes. It makes him look a little too trappy for my tastes.) hold-down shot is hard to control (move up to spread out his lasers…eww). Palm-Abnormal feels just right, somewhat like Ship A-* from DoDonPachi and Ruby from Giga Wing–concentrated shots and reasonably fast movement.

My progress reports:

1.5 -> Original: Up to Stage 4. Since the scoring in this mode is simple, I can simply focus on scooping up gold and blowing shit up. I start to choke around Stage 3, where I sometimes fail to quickly destroy a bullet-canceling enemy and have to fire a bomb to escape out of a snag. This is also where I start to make idiotic deaths with 2-3 bombs left.

1.5 -> Maniac: Stage 2 or 3, I think? Take my Stage 3 stupidity from 1.5 -> Original and apply it to Stage 2, and you have how well I’m doing in this mode. Just now started to learn the difference between killing a large enemy with hold shot and killing it with tap shot.

1.5 -> Ultra: I got to the warning screen that asks if I’m ready to die, then picked “いいえ” (“no”). Does that count?

Novice -> Ultra: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I normally have an aversion to easy modes, but Novice actually makes them fun. I’ve only given Novice -> Ultra a serious shot so far. You get thick bullet patterns (thicker than 1.5 -> Original, maybe as thick as 1.5 -> Maniac), but they either have very visible patterns or are conveniently placed around a bullet-canceling enemy. And just to make life easier, it has auto-bomb. 1CC’d twice, second try being 5 lives left. Maybe I should bring some lesser-skilled friends over (or bring my copy to campus, where I have a couple friends with 360s) and have them give Novice a shot.

Now, me lacking common sense, I’ve been neglecting Futari a bit to play…

Thunder Force VI – TFB means “Thunder Force bullshit”

Got this two days after getting Futari. I’m not sure why I bothered to order this, knowing that this game would be disappointing. Perhaps it’s the soundtrack?

At any rate, Normal is a joke. 1CC’d it with Phoenix and Rynex-R. Phoenix and Syrinx violate Thunder Force tradition by having all weapons available right away and not taking away any of them when you die. Rynex-R has a broken Twin Shot Over Weapon (hi, I give bosses like five seconds to live) and Syrinx has the same Wave shot from TFV only stronger (hi, I cancel lots of bullets and eat everything in front of me for dinner).

I do like some of the stages, however. Stage 2 plays similarly to Thunder Force III‘s Gorgon stage, but with a little twist: some of the tunnels will abruptly and and you shift from one tunnel to one running roughly parallel to it. Stage 4 drops you into the midst of a battle between the Federation and the ORN Forces, then takes you into a city. Stage 5 is like R-Type‘s stage 3 Thunder Force III‘s Cerberus stage, only in three dimensions, sadly followed by a so-so encounter with ORN Faust and a 3-part Vasteel Nocht battle that would be awesome if it weren’t for the clones of Styx, Rynex, and Gauntlet going down pretty fast (RYNEX-R. TWIN SHOT OVER WEAPON.).

But stage 6?

“So with all the cool stages in Thunder Force history, you pick this piece of crap? You kiddin’ me? This is the final stage, this is what you’re buildin’ up to? Thunder Force V‘s grimey box factory? I don’t think so!“
–xoxak, Thunder Force VI PRO REVIEW

also lol @ final boss

Last time, I was working on Hard difficulty. Syrinx = easy 1CC. But Rynex-R? Game actually getting frustrating + me being pissed that I can’t beat an easy shooting game = RAGEQUIT.

Dear Futari, sorry I cheated on you with the cheap whore that is TFVI. Love, Ray.