Hey. I’m Adam, known on the internet as szycag. I’m going to write on the internet about video games that I play, like these other dudes are doing. I’ll jump right into that then.

I love Virtua Tennis 3 so much; got it for $7 on Ebay, brand new in the plastic even. Virtua Tennis 2009 came out a couple months ago, which I guess makes this game obsolete and thus cheap. Not really though. Unlike most sports games on the market, I’m pretty sure many of the fans don’t even follow the sport and won’t care about the new roster. For people with short attention spans such as me, it’s just Pong with way more strategy thrown in. It’s also one of the few Sega properties left that hasn’t been totally dragged to hell yet. 2009 does add a few features that sounded interesting, but everything you need to be absolutely addicted is right here. It’s also in the first two really, it’s just that here it’s in 1080p. Hi-res cardboard cutout crowd goes wild!

So for this, my first post, I was going to announce my first victory against the AI on hard in Exhibition mode, but that hasn’t happened yet, despite all my hard work. I’ve gotten so close numerous times. I always pick that Dent guy as my rival because I don’t like his chin. Sometimes I’ll catch him slipping and get him off to one side and smack one in he can’t possibly reach, but I swear he’s just doing this to lure me into some false sense of security. I sense so many things from the AI in this game- things that I’m just imagining of course- but like the computer is getting mad at me or trying to spite me, lead me on even. The great thing about a game as simple as this is how complex the AI can truly get. I see it starting to pull the same shit that I’m trying to pull, like lob shots that go just an inch over the net then running right up against it and mashing A. Stuff like that. That’s MY dick move, and he stole it. Double dicked.

I think what plays into all that is the body language. When I trip over my own shoes with a sloppy return, then see the other guy rearing up to smack it back just a couple feet out of my reach, I have to step back a bit and wait a few seconds before I serve again. Stare him down a bit. He’s looking a bit cocky. Picture that, then the next set he’s going all benevolent and botching what was otherwise a pretty boring rally. The never-ending rallies aren’t what gets me though, it’s tying up at Deuce again and again, sometimes up to six and seven times. By that point I’m just too nervous to be clever. If it’s match point and I’m that nervous, I’m hoping if I hit A at just the right moment when I serve it’s going to hit him right in his mongoloid chin. Even in fighting games I don’t get that desperate. It’s just the nature of the game I guess. Oh, here are the two unlockable TRUE LAST BOSS characters:

King and Duke

King and Duke

Look at these douchebags. Case in point. Cocky bastards. I turned the tournament settings to Very Easy, 1 match, so I could keep getting to King without any undue stress, but it was hopeless. Can’t get a single point against him. I’m not even gonna try matching up with Duke. Look at those handlebars. I’m trying to figure out which mini-game in the world tour mode levels up my pompous prick attribute.

There should be a mini-game where you hit baby seal clubbers with tennis balls.

Some stuff I might talk about next time:
Shadow Complex
Shooting Game Tournament 2009 bitching
Gears of War 2 unless I end up reselling it (I’ve had it for a month and it’s still in the plastic. Can’t stop playing VT3)
Sega Saturn stuff

HOW WAS THAT DAN